Link to Date

There are a lot of grey areas in dating and people often need help in answering those tough questions. It’s often difficult to know if you should start a relationship with a particular person or not. The Weekly Horoscope of Dating is here to help. Remember, these are guidelines on how to live your life, not hard and fast rules. The stars align the same for everyone, so these guidelines are for both men and women.

Aries March 21 - April 19 - Start wearing your underwear on the outside of your clothing.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 - Draw to an inside straights, start drinking heavily.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 - Move to Branson, Missouri. Don’t tell anyone.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 -Insist your employer pay you in those big golf tournament checks. Don’t take no for an answer.

Leo July 23 - August 22 - Paint every thing you own Day-Glo Pink. House, Car, Pets, everything.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 - Legally change your name to something with one word. It’s your choice what name you choose, I suggest Spike.

Libra September 23 - October 22 - Give everyone you know a kitten. Tell them you can no longer trust yourself around it.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 - The love of your life is in prison in Louisiana, go to them or you’ll always wonder what might have been.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 - Tip the Greeter at Wal-Mart $100; ask to see the good stuff.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 - Go to Blockbuster Video. Ask to rent their security camera tapes. If they refuse, tell them NetFlix lets you.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 - Take a weekend sojourn, you deserve it. Heavily advertise a garage sale before you go. That’ll teach em.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 - Put on something slutty and go to TGI Fridays, trust me.

I hope these horoscopes will help you in your everyday life, and in dating. If nothing else, it will make the problems you now have seem somehow, insignificant.